The day has come, it is here, finally. National Peanut Butter Day. We've waited all year for this fateful day, January 24th, and now we shall wait no longer. My friend, Hillary, is obsessed with peanut butter, and so yo commemorate such a joyous occasion, I thought I'd post this to remind her of the origins of arguably the greatest holiday in existence. This is taken from Jifensis chapter 1 of the Skipple.
"And then on the sixth day, God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God saw that it was good. And then God created peanut butter, and saw that it was very, very, sinfully deliciously good. Then God told the man and woman, 'Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. The bananas and apples you shall enjoy with the peanut butter I have given you. The combination of the peanut butter and the fruit will ensure a lifetime of succulent eating.' And then God commanded the man, saying, 'You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. Although the fruit is shiny and would taste heavenly with peanut butter, you shall not spread peanut butter on its outside and therefore take a bite, as then there among your descendants will exist those who 'do not like' peanut butter, and it will be very sad.' Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that God had made. One day, he said to the woman “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden, especially not with peanut butter? For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, she took of its fruit, spread on a huge glob of peanut butter, and ate and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened and Adam decided he didn't like peanut butter anymore."
Yes, sadly, that brought about the existence of the sin of people not enjoying peanut butter. However, the world has been redeemed, and now those who like peanut butter and those who dislike it together can join hands on this one day and experience what it will be like in Heaven, when peanut butter is enjoyed by all.
